13 Bird-Brained Alternatives To Twitter

I was reading Robin Galloway’s excellent column in The Scottish Sun this morning and as I couldn’t find a version of this online I thought I’d share the alternatives to Twitter that Robin @realradiorobin and his mate ‘Larkie Gav’ thought up with you here.

(Note: You might need to be Scottish to appreciate the humour in some of these!)

1. Skitter – a micro ‘logging’ site that reveals all to followers about your toilet habits.

2. Fritter – tell your disciples how good the king rib supper is from your local chip shop.

3. Slitter – for those who like to spill things on their clothes.

4. Flitter – for folk who keep getting evicted for throwing rowdy parties.

5. Knitter – a site allowing knitters to swap yarns. (get it – swap “yarns”!)

6. Sitter – reminisce about Peter Van Vossen and Harald Brattbakk sclaffs.

7. Bitter – scorned women of Scotland get together and say: “Who needs men anyway?”

8. Sitar – for those who like mythical Eastern instruments.

9. Gritter – as Billy Connolly famously said, how do these people get to their work???

10. Titter – the No1 site to share schoolboy humour.

Robin, I agree with you that “Titter” definitely has potential, “Skitter” was a bit of bum joke (tee,hee!) and “Bitter” would surely be popular with the fairer sex, but there are a few that you missed off the list…

11. Litter – for OAP’s to share stories of the garbage that’s been left on their pavements.

12. Zitter – for teenagers to discuss their acne.

And my all-time favourite…

13. Jitter – for raging alcoholics to discuss the price of cheap wine!

Any advancement on these 13 bird-brained Twitter alternatives, anyone? Feel free to post them below…

And, oh, if you’d like to give yourself a proper laugh today, go and check out Robin’s very funny website “The Real Windup” and listen to some of the wind up phone calls he’s done on his show for Real Radio over the years. The guy is a legend here in Scotland and his pranks have, deservedly, made him a huge hit on YouTube too!